“Back to Life & Dreaming” was recorded in Philadelphia with Grammy Award winning Producer Andy Kravitz. This record is smoking! Get your digital copy today!

Upon arrival we prepared dad’s gifts and cake on the table, summoned the nurse to bring him out and got ready for the big reveal! We were met with tears of joy that we were there, but what soon followed was the unexpected part. My father quickly pulled us aside, and in his quietest voice whispered, they are abusing me. He pulled up his shirt sleeve to reveal a large bruise and a scratch that went the entire length of his arm. He went on to tell us that the nurses “abuse him”….they won’t let him walk, restrict him to a wheelchair, they watch him 24 hours a day, and he has no privacy, they curse, and tell him what to do.

After this we talked to the social worker over my fathers ward. The social worker filled us in that the bruise on his arm was from a nurse having to restrict him from doing certain actions that would have harmed him, and him not listening. The scratch down the length of his arm, was SELF-inflicted after he learned we were there (in hopes that we would feel bad enough for him to take him home with us).

When it came time for us to leave, my father went into a mode of desperation. He was desperate for us to take him with us, home. He told me, his son, looking directly into my eyes that he would kill himself if we did not take him home with us.

Part of me thinks it was just a cry of desperation for us to take him home with us. In his mind, the nurse that stays with him 24 hours a day is a invasion of his privacy, even though we know it is for his own good. We know that the pureed food that he has to eat is so that he won’t choke on his food, he sees it as a form of punishment. We know that him being restricted to a wheelchair is so he will not fall and hurt himself because his illness has taken away all of his sense of balance, and coordination.

The other part of me died inside. My father has always held onto an insane amount of hope. Hope in things of this world (like him inheriting millions from the losers who run the scams via email in Nigeria), to hope in our God. Today, I saw part of that hope disappear.

How do you tell a person you love “it will be ok” when they are in a place that you know, it will never be “ok” for them? How do you tell him that “its going to get better” when you know it’s only going to get worst? How do you tell your father not to take his own life, that their is something better waiting for him, when you don’t know that? I found myself lying to him and to myself. He knew it, and I knew it. I told him “everything will be ok” even though I did not believe that.

Before we left the hospital, I prayed over my father. We circled as a family, and prayed. This was the first time he asked me to pray for us. Usually when we leave, he circles us up, and he mumbles out prayers. Today, I prayed, through my tears, through all of my emotions, I had to pray. Yes…had too. I had nothing left in me. During the prayer I remembered that our faith, and our hope is not in things of this world, but in a Father who loves us, and will take care of us, no matter the circumstance. For now, I am barely hanging on, but I know my Father is hanging on to me.

Andy Kravitz has created music in the studio for a wide range of award winning Artist’s and Producers including: Imogen Heap, Sting, Billy Joel, The Rolling Stones, Joan Osborne, James Taylor, John Lennon & Yoko Ono just to name a few. The combination of passionate songwriting, “nod-your-head” grooves, top-notch musicianship, freedom to create an original sound and direction from one of the music industry’s top producers has combined to form “Back to Life & Dreaming” the new definition of BMB’s sound and the sound of Fuzzy Rock. (funky + jazzy + acoustic rock = FUZZY ROCK)

“Back to Life & Dreaming” will be available via the brandonmcswainband.com website as well as itunes March 15th, 2011.

Welcome everyone to the new BMB website! All new posts will appear here on the main page so check back often. This is actually our third major re-design since the site went live in 2005. This time we used a custom version of WordPress so if you are familiar with WordPress sites, then you should be ready to start! If you haven’t already, be sure to give us your email address in the form on the sidebar at the right. You can also see our tour calendar and page links there.  At the top, you can listen to songs from the new album. You can leave comments to any of the posts, photos, videos or other content so let us know what you think.

- BMB webmaster

Anyway, on the first day I started showing them Pro Tools, and I actually had a session I was messing around with that had a killer drum loop, and one of the kids in my class just started rapping. And I don’t mean kinda…..I mean, He was killin it! Turned out that all my kids in my class were insanely talented….and not just talented like a parent says “yeah my kid is talented” because they love you. These kids possessed a raw untouched talent for music that just flowed from them. It was amazing. I was privileged enough to be able to guide them the rest of the week in writing and recording the “CampJam Jam”.

During this time, I got a real feel for the island and the culture. The sad part is most of these kids are not taught that there are opportunities out there, and are definitely not taught work ethic. The biggest problem in Cayman for these youth, is the same problem we face in the U.S. The kids are part of a fatherless society. Most of these kids are raised by their mothers who had kids very early (teens), and the father is no where to be found, and now the mother has multiple kids, and multiple jobs in order to support the family, therefore not having any time for these kids.

This is a crazy epidemic that is totally destroying our society, but now I see it is not just the U.S. that suffers from this. These kids just need to be loved. They need a father. They need comfort in the strength of a family and a father.

The good news is that we have a Father. A Father who loves us, and fights for us, and runs with all of His heart towards us no matter how many times we falter. We were able to give these kids a glimpse of our Fathers Love this week, and also give them a glimpse of hope that their talents and abilities can be used for greater purposes.

Here is the deal. When my heart moves me, I go. It all started almost six months ago when I began working with University City Fellowship in Harrisburg, NC. One of the first things I was asked to help out with was shooting and producing a video series called “Metamorphosis” which was simply producing videos of people in our church and their life stories, what God has brought them through, and what they are doing now. Before shooting this series I was shown a video of Trent and Carmen Post from the first Metamorphosis video series that the church did 4 years ago. After hearing Trent and Carmen’s story from four years ago, everyone in the room including myself was wiping away the tears from witnessing their true-life story of change.

So, impressed with the weight of their story, and with rumors that this same couple was giving up everything and moving to Ethiopia full-time, I knew I had to meet them. I looked up Trent on facebook, sent a few messages back and forth, and set up a dinner meeting with the Post family.

At dinner I shared my story, and Trent shared a bit more of what their plans were for their lives, ministry, and their call to Ethiopia. I knew in this moment that we shared the same heart for defending those unable to defend themselves. My story is completely different from Trent and Carmen’s, but ends in the same result of a deep desire to defend the weak.

Four years ago my father was committed to the Northeast Florida State Hospital. He was diagnosed as a Manic Depressive with mild schizophrenia. A year ago, we found out that on top of that, he has a rare form of dementia that affects his speech capabilities, his movements and has put him into a wheelchair. Through many years of defending my father (before we knew the diagnosis), providing for him as a child (18-22 years old), taking care of him, and doing everything for him I could while everyone else turned their back on him, I felt all of his pain. I know that it has created a deep passion inside of myself to fight for those who are unable too.

One Sunday morning, after leaving the stage, David was speaking about the sports camp trip to Ethiopia that some of our people in the church are going on. He made the statement that they still may have a spot open, and my heart jumped. He then made a statement to the effect of…..Don’t let yourself make excuses, if you felt your heart move you to go, don’t talk yourself out of it. So…..after church I immediately sent Gray Riley a text message about going to Ethiopia. I knew I was supposed to be there.

Turned out that there were no spots left on the trip. So, I thought that was the end of it. After a few more weeks of wrestling with it, and what I thought was burying the issue, I knew I was still supposed to be in Ethiopia at the end of July.

At the end of July UCity will have around 20 people from the church. Trent and Carmen Post and their family will be finishing out their first 2 months there with Make Your Mark, Steph Clanton will be their working in an orphanage then joining the other 5-7 people there with the Sports Camp we put on, as well as our lead pastor and his family is there for 6 weeks adopting two into their family from Ethiopia, as well as ministries we support over there: Water is Life, the Lunchbox program, SIM (Serving in Ministry) Ethiopia, etc.

With everything going on at this point in time, I felt a strong move in my heart that we needed to capture video and photography of the extreme need in this country, with millions of orphans living on the street, and Hundreds of thousands of children dying from preventable causes, I feel that I can be a voice for these children and people by capturing their need.
While I may not be the most skilled, or the most talented in those areas. I am willing to go, therefore I am the right guy for the job.

Once I made the decision to go…things did not get easier, but they have worked out. One of my biggest hurdles I had to overcome was asking my mother to let me use her credit card to fund the plane ticket. I had to buy the ticket the same week I decided to go, so that I would HAVE a plane ticket. This is a HUGE deal for me. You see, my mother has spent the past 7 years digging herself out from under debt that my father put her in. I don’t have a credit card at all, because my father actually used my identity and my credit on frequent occasions, and my credit is screwed. It was not easy to ask my mother to let me front the costs on a CC, and I had an uneasy feeling as well about it, but…..I knew I had to go. I worked up the courage, asked my mother, and she surprisingly agreed.

Since then……. Things have started working out. I got onto the same flights as the rest of the group coming back from Africa, I have a place to stay and transportation the entire time I will be in Africa, I have someone traveling with me over there, and I have NEVER felt peace and excitement about any one thing more than I do about going.

God moved my heart to go, to become a voice for the innocent people of Addis Ababa and Langano Ethiopia and I am going.